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How could I feel/think/live something for so long, and then when it actually happens, reject/deny/refuse it?
Maybe she's lying through her teeth. Maybe I'm delusional.
*I don't check in here often, but here's a snippet. And to all the people I might owe a comment, a post, anything, don't hold your breath.
Maybe she's lying through her teeth. Maybe I'm delusional.
*I don't check in here often, but here's a snippet. And to all the people I might owe a comment, a post, anything, don't hold your breath.
Devious Journal Entry
Regretfully, my use of this site has declined to almost nothing over the past year or so.
I find that I no longer write as much as I used to, actually, hardly at all. While I enjoyed my time here and what I got from it, I do not see myself returning much in the near future. As selfish as it sounds, I will be responding to the last comments and notices that I have, and then probably disappearing.
If anyone is still reading and looking at my stuff, I can still be found on Twitter and Tumblr. Of course though, these aren't the same. If you have either, they are:
Tumblr: http://3948.tumblr.com/
Twitter: http://twitter.com/Zoklar
I hope to se
.1
It is perhaps in the dark that we are most human.
It is said that in the dark, when no one can see what we do, that we become the most bestial, the most perverse.
In the middle of the story, the "hero in the dark" has a choice. He can take the easy way out, and still triumph, but with the knowledge that he cheated. Or he can stick to his morals, and triumph anyway. Either way, hardly anyone knows.
In the dark is when we are most vulnerable. We are disconnected, we are cut off. Unable to see anything except the faintest of shapes, unable to discern our location. Sounds play tricks on our minds, and we have no other choice but to imagine the
I did
i did, i really did. i tried to include people, i tried to talk to them, to invite them to things. and when they never responded, when they never tried back, i just gave up. that's normal right?
UPDATE: Follow me on my blog, though it's basically the same thing, but might see some more updates.
http://3948.tumblr.com/
update
i update this journal selfishly, never stopping to do anything more than write down some errant thoughts.
i used to believe that my greatest fear was failure.
i then thought that it was perhaps inadequacy. more about the reason for failure than failure itself.
i have realized though, that failure i can deal with. i have failed in the past, and it the possibility that i can doesn't scare me.
what scares me most, i have come to realize, is not being liked. i fear being lied to, i fear that my friends are pretending. i fear that i'm not part of the group.
for all my tendencies to be by myself, for all my tendencies to avoid people, the thin
© 2010 - 2024 Zoklar
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